Response to Feedback of Paper 2

Today we received our paper 2 drafts back. We were able to see what Ms. Lang liked and didn't like with our papers. I was extremely pleased to see more highlighted parts that underlined parts, meaning that my paper was on the right direction. The things i need to work on, as explained by her remarks, is that i need to add more detailed facts about my magazine, specially my article. For instance, when i write about the pictures in the article i have to explain how the layout it, how the images are displaced throughout the article, the use of color in the pictures, etc. However, i also have to get more in depth about the style of the magazine and specially the style of how the article its written, understanding who the article was written to.

Peer Review for Paper 2 oct. 3

Today i talked with Abby about my topic for our second paper. First we started talking just about our topic and as we talked more and more we started getting ideas of how to write our paper. I learned that when i first talk about my topic, i will get more ideas than just starting to write. I will approach this essay by finding an article that has multiple pictures that go with the article. I choose this topic because i get every week a Sport Illustrated magazine and i always think to my self how this picture help the article. Like when ever i don't understand something in the article i look at the pictures for a reference.  My peer reviewer asked me if i am going to use the whole magazine or just one article in the magazine. Also she asked me if the pictures i was choosing were from the same article or just throughout the magazine.

Class Blog for October 1st

Todays class started like every regular class. We rushed to our seats and jumped on the computer waiting for everyone to get settled down. Once Ms. Lang did attendance we started to talk about the essay we read for homework. She explained to us that we can use this essay as a template for our second paper, which the discovery draft is due wednesday. However, there were a lot of classmates that argued that as the essay in the book went through the first and second revision it became harder to read and follow along. Many of our classmates believed the first essay in the novel was written better than the final. 

As we kept discussing about the short essay we figured out what the thesis statement was. It was hard at first to figure what it was but as a class we figured it out. We concluded that for this essay the thesis was that movies and comic books can be as good as the book it is derived from. Once we got this we started discussing if this is true. So we made a list of recent movies we have watched that we have also read the book. The list included The Hunger Games, Harry Potter, Narnia, Sex and the City, Gossip Girl, V for Vendetta, The Notebook and Game of Thrones. 

After discussing the recent movies we have watched we started talking about the small excerpt we had to read form the Hunger Games. We talked about everything we felt, imagined and interpreted from the excerpt. After discussing all of our feelings, we watched the same scene from the movie to see our reaction. We were able to differentiate how the movie made us feel and how the reading made us feel. For some kids the reading was able to portray a sense of better imagery and we could feel what Katniss, the main character in the Hunger Games, was feeling throughout this scene. However, the movie made some kids get more into it then the reading. So to finish the class we kept differentiating the movie and the reading.



In the last five minutes of class Ms. Lang explained how we can relate what we did today in class to our assignment for our second paper. Hope this help you if you missed class today.

Awkward Family Pictures

This picture is centered around being a family portrait. There is a mother, father and son; however, the mother and son are relaxed for the picture but the husband is dressed in a speedo flexing for the camera while kneeing, kinda in a showing off position. The first thing that draws my attention is the fact that the father is wearing a speedo and he is flexing while his wife in regular blue jeans and a laid back button down red shirt. This picture is about a long story of how the father likes to show off his body and do stuff in public for others while the mother and son are more conservative. Since i am more of a conservative person this made me see that the guy loves being the center of attention and dress to receive more attention.

Movie Narrative Intro and Conclusion

Writing my narrative introductory paragraph was single handedly one of the hardest paragraphs for me to write. I though about starting with a quote or maybe a little story of me as a young boy watching my favorite movies, but none of them seem the best way for me to start my essay. So as we were taught i wrote my first shitty introduction and kept on going with my paper. After we did our peer review I went back and rewrote my introductory paragraph. Now i knew what i wanted to put in the introduction and what stuff to take out. My introduction now starts with a strong statement about how movies affect us. By starting with a strong and capturing statement i hope the readers would get hooked to the essay and want to keep on reading. My conclusion was written three times. I couldn't get it to be how i wanted it until the three revision. In the conclusion i don't answer the statement but i summarize the statement i made in the introduction about movies. Its almost like i proof that the statement about movie is true. I do believe my conclusion answers the "So What" question that the book arises.

Digital Movie Narrative

The peer editing was extremely useful since i wasn't in class on Monday. I was able to get another person response to my paper instead of the same person over and over. The one thing i might change about my paper is that in stead of focusing on multiple movies i might focus on just one movie and go more in depth on it. By going into a movie i would be able to get more details and examples that relate to me. Also i am going to change how each show created a new view toward the world. And how this new perspective prepared me to the world.

Movie Narrative Peer Editing workshop

The peer editing workshop today help me understand what direction i want to go with my essay. Before i had a little idea of what i wanted to do but didn't know how to express it. I understand that the only way for me to keep on going is by understanding what i want this paper to say. I started thinking and concluded that during each of my eras something important rose and became a part of my life. The peer editing was extremely useful in understanding the point i want to betray in the essay and how to bring it into the essay.